My Thoughts

Pressure?

She was scared—she didn’t have her typical team by her side, new people were seated at the table, and it was time to make the presentation of a life-time. Of course there were the typically awkward introductions—and the mix of personalities to overcome. There was the “Big Dog”—the senior member to impress. To impress him, her ambition would would need to shine as her experience didn’t hold a candle to the rest of the group. There was the “Outspoken Authoritarian”—she was playing on her home turf, with her agreeable and jovial sidekick. And then, there was the “Board”—the two fellas sitting idly behind the “Big Dog” and waiting for something to happen.

How’d she do? Was her presentation a success?

Well, considering they fought dragons, played toe-to-toe with NBA All-Stars, and proved that team-work was necessary to explode a can of Diet Coke, I’d say she fared excellently. Then, at bed time, she cried.

Sometimes changing the world isn’t easy—gaining the respect of those around you, building new networking arms, playing politics to reach a goal.  It can be exhausting—especially when you’re three years old.

I watched my daughter last night—as my wife and I attended a neighborhood barbecue. Typically she’d have her older, and more street savvy, sister with her.  But, last night, her sister was away on business travel (sleep over).

My three year old daughter was stressed.  In her world, this social gathering was big—all the new kids, most of them older than her.  She handled herself perfectly…if she didn’t like a situation, I’d see her leave and play independently.  Of course, she’d re-engage when she was interested again. She played basketball—something she had never done before. She watched the older kids play wiffle ball—and then ran to me behind the scenes and asked if I’d show her how to do it so she could play too.  And, when the crew was slaying dragons, I even saw her “power” (pretending her little fingers were magic wands) one of the “Board Members”.

When we got home, she cried—the stress and exhaustion from playing were just a bit overwhelming.

But, don’t we all feel like this at times? When you’re three, slaying imaginary dragons can be intense. When you’re three other kids are tattle tails—not necessarily because you did anything wrong, but more or less because the tattle tail wants a kind ear from the authority figure. And, when you’re three a night of aggressive playing, relationship building, and figuring our where you stand in the pack can be treacherous.

So, what do we do as adults?

Sadly, as adults, we’ve learned not to get flustered, overwhelmed, or exhausted.  So, we have a tendency to either keep plugging along till we explode, or we start avoiding situations that challenge us from the beginning. People avoid jobs that may fulfill their dreams but come saddled with elements of rejection. People avoid creating relationships with “Big Dogs” because they fear feel inadequate. People avoid challenges, simply because they’re not familiar with certain aspects. And, instead of learning something new, often times, we huddle back into our corners and pretend we’re not interested in playing at all.

Hey, changing the world around us takes energy. It’s high-pressure. It’s stressful at times. But, the rewards are there if you step in front of the line—and fight for your rightful spot.

She may have cried when she got home last night, but my daughter was first in line last night when we were handing out S’mores—so, obviously she chose her battles wisely.

If you missed Marcus Buckingham on Oprah, you missed a stellar show. You can check it out on Oprah’s site…and if you want more Marcus, click on my “Articles” page and you can read my interview with him.

Good stuff, Marcus.

“I need to lose weight and get in shape,” she said. “I just can’t seem to stick with it.”

How many times can a person hear this without going bonkers?

Okay, I admit that I’m a zealot when it comes to wellness and fitness. And, although career and fitness don’t fall into the same boat for most people, they should, because they’re really the same. The key to success is simple.

All you have to do is pick a race.

Huh?

Why is goal setting so difficult? Typically it’s hard because we don’t place our selves in risky situations—situations where we could lose money, pride, or even the slightest pieces of our self-respect.

If you want to get in shape or lose wieght, find a local race—biking, running, or even a triathlon. The event is a marker that you need to prepare for—because no one wants to be the last to cross the line, or the putz who couldn’t finish. Pick a safe date from today—3 months to run a marathon is actually doable. Your first investment in the goal should be money—don’t wait until you’re in shape to drop your entrance fee. You’d be surprised how much a $20 entrance fee for your neighborhood 10K fun run will motivate you. Mentally it forces you to make a commitment. And, there’s no reason you can’t make that initial investment right now—excuses aren’t an option.

If your having trouble staying focused on your career goals, pick a different kind of race—find an event that forces you to show up, and show up in great shape. A competition can be your race, a new client to approach can be your race, or a project to complete can be your race—and once you’ve chosen that race (the day of the event), call someone of influence and promise them you’ll be there. Heck, send them an envelope with a 50 in it, and ask them to hold onto till a specified date. If you don’t show, or if you don’t present what you promised, they get to keep the 50 bucks.

There’s never going to be a good time to achieve great things. If you want to swim the English Channel someday, you gotta make your travel reservations today.

Right now, you’re only competition is your self.

Giddy up.

www.thecureforheartdisease.net

The title of this blog might make you believe that I’ll dive into some corny pony tales—a spirited animal saves the day even though everyone thought it was odd.

Well, it’s actually the opposite…here, there is no happy ending…just an ending.

(cue sound effects: “Dun dun dun!”)

Actually, this story begins when my oldest daughter (now 6) received a play horse for Christmas.   She loved the horse—she’d hop  on, squeeze it’s ears and it would knock out a snazzy version of “Oh give mea home,where the buffalo roam.”  She loved it.

But, that didn’t last very long.  The horse, sitting in the corner of her room, freaked her out at night.  “I think I’ll let my sister keep it in her room.”

So, the horse was transferred.  And, my  middle child loved it.  She named the horse.  She’d pet the horse.  But, again, it didn’t take long for the horse to become a night-time tragedy.  “It scares me Daddy.”

“Do you want to let your brother keep it in his room?” I asked.

Well, you guessed it.  Now the horse resides in my son’s room (who by the way, is only 16 months old).

I guess I should say, “resided in his room, until tonight.”  This evening  Mr. Horse sleeps in the hallway.  Even though my son cannot express in words how much that horse freaked him out, the pointing and high-decible screeching was enough for me to realize the horse just isn’t a good match.

What’s the point?

Finding a perfect place in life may endure some rejection—let’s face it, we’ve all known great people who simply twist our perspectives of acceptability. And, we’ve all known people we like but they just kinda freak us out.

Finding a spot to play in the game is kinda like a puzzle piece finding its own spot in the puzzle—it’d be much easier if they could help us look for their perfect slot.  But, this is all true with humans as well. We can all wait for someone to place us in spots and hope they find the right one before they give up, or we can stand up and actively find the spot that suits us best—even if we do get someone to help along the way.

Who knows, if that horse could talk, maybe he’s freaked out by kids—it wouldn’t surprise me.   Lord knows, sometimes I am.

We’re consumers—of information, food, products, stimuli, ideas, and air.

We gulp in more stuff daily than we can ever imagine.

I write magazine articles daily—consuming information that I learn about people making a difference in their company, their communities, and the world around them.  I also write books—focusing on health and wellnes, and how impactful the things we consume truly are to our well-being.

What’s the point?

One thing I learned while writing the book The Cure for Heart Disease with Dr. Dwight Lundell, is that the foods we consume aren’t as important as what our bodies do with the foods we consume.  Sugar isn’t a fat…but it will make you fat.  Allowing yourself to consume toxins will eventually take its toll on your health.  So, does that theory hold true with people?  If we allow ourselves to let toxic people into our lives,  will we eventually suffer from it?  And, what about consuming toxic information?

Well, sadly, we all know the answer to all these questions is “yes.”  So, what do we do about it?

There’s a McDonald’s, a Starbucks, and convenience store on just about every corner in America.  And, just like some toxic foods seem nearly impossible to avoid, toxic people and information surround us daily—maybe it’s your boss, a coworker, or a relative, or maybe it’s biased or negative information, gossip, or even slander.  We can’t just cut off the world around us.  What do we do?  Consumption happens.

Here’s my two cents of advice. First, try to avoid as many toxins (food, people, and information) as possible.  Second, if you’re forced into a situation where you “accidentally” allow yourself to consume toxins, find a positive outlet to reverse the toxic effects.  If you throw back a pound of fries, you’ll be headed to the gym for a while. And, if you gulp down some toxic vibes from an acquaintance, go inspire someone else you know to change the world for the better.  If you get your information from Sad Sally, Negative Ned, or Downer Drew…well…you get the point.

Bottom line?

Bad food gives you gas.  Bad people make life stink.  And, rotten information occupies a space in your brain that should be used to store something valuable—real knowledge.

Want to consume something positive? Go to my “Articles” section of this website.

A friend of mine was “name-calling” the other day—she called me a maverick. Isn’t that the coolest thing you’ve ever heard—maverick?

It can mean a big ugly scar on your forehead in the office though—the non-conformist. And, hopefully I didn’t earn my maverick stripes just because I’m cursed with an unrelenting desire to let my toes dangle without the restrictions of things like socks and shoes. I choose flops—even with suits—which has lead to some other forms of name-calling.   But, c’mon people, a little wiggle room never hurt anyone. Socks, to me, are just as restrictive as mittens on my hands—and I punch keys for a living.

Why do we accept all these restrictions?

I find it interesting that somewhere on the road to adulthood, we lose some of our lust for possibility—the curiosity that drives progress to reach beyond the norm and sometimes break the rules of “standard.” Somewhere along that narrowing path we figure out how to play by the rules—and that typically means we choose someone else’s rules to follow.  Of course, to follow someone else’s rules, we need to first understand someone else’s rules. Then, to succeed within those rules, we begin to understand someone else’s vision—and move toward their vision.

Ka-Poof! The next thing you know, 20 some years have passed and we’re sitting on the back porch engaged in a pointless thumb twiddle—wondering where our dreams went. Well, it seems they were shoved in the drawer with our mittens.

What happened to the pioneers of ideas, the risk takers, the dreamers—the possibilities that existed when we were children to change the world? Where’d the mavericks go? Is conformity bad? Are rules bad?

Rules designed by someone other than yourself create discipline. However, if you design your own rules, you can create character—good or bad character. And, as much as I would hope you design your rules to create good character, the point is; it’s your character—you know and understand yourself, your values, your vision and your boundaries.

So, is their a glitch? Ironically, it seems that most of us are looking for someone else’s rules to follow these days—leaving us stranded, without truly understanding ourselves and our purpose. We can hop online and see other people’s rules, their opinions, their standards, their values, and their visions. Sadly, it seems that a lot of people are thinking that their character is something they choose from a multiple choice listing—an astonishingly huge black and white string of options.

Conformity is a necessity to survive…but it won’t get you far if you want to thrive. And, be honest, all of us are mavericks at heart—with itches that need to be scratched, goals that need to be achieved, and little cotton pouches covering our digits that slow our progress.

Isn’t it time we all made some space to wiggle?

Yes, maverick is the coolest thing anyone could ever say to me and to you. Go, be one and discover your character.

And, if you’re still a slacker, and haven’t read about a maverick that is changing everything (plus, he could save your life) it’s time to order my book about Dr. Dwight Lundell www.thecureforheartdisease.net

What are we? Who are we? And, what will we become?

Our mothers told “we can be anything we want to be.” If your mother never told you that, call mine—she’ll feed you some optimism.

But, then what? Did you become what you wanted to become?

Friends, whether you want to believe it or not, you are a result of what you have done. Talent doesn’t matter unless you use it. Perspective is useless unless you share it. Intellect is wasted if it’s not directed. These are all the things you do. Lovers love. Painters paint. Writers write. Successful people succeed. If you want to change who you are, don’t worry about changing how you think—instead change what you do. Do you want to be more caring? Care. Do you want to be less stressed? Eliminate.

I can quote Socrates. I can quote Napoleon Hill. I can qoute Dr. Stephen Covey (who I recently had the opportunity to interview by the way, and the man is phenomenally brilliant). Or, I could quote Jesus, Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, Oprah, Ghandi, Lance Armstrong, or even Bruce Lee.

All of these people have uttered statements that could change your life and the world in which you live. All have provided insights into becoming someone better than we are today.

So, why didn’t we take actions with these wise words?

Maybe Socrates statements are too deep. Maybe anything Lance Armstrong says can be viewed as intimidating because there’s no way that guy is just human like the rest of us. Maybe we need the process of change simplified to a point where there are no more questions—no gray areas for interpretation.

Maybe Sinatra actually sang it best—the process by which every single one of us can become exactly what we want to become in this life.

What do you want to be?  That’s best answered by: What are you willing to do?

Or, in Sinatra’s words…

“Do, be, do, be, do.”

Is it best to always look at the world through a positive lens? Or, does it help sometimes to perceive the negative things that could happen—what happens if we allow ourselves to do nothing?  What hurts worse:  effort, stagnancy, or just a bad attitude?

I wrote this a few years ago.  I love finding the little  nuggets.  Especially when they make sense.

The Day Lilly was SNARGLED

It was Monday morning and just before school.
Lilly Lampey awoke with her feet feeling cool.
But, her face was warm and her belly was queasy.
A hard day of learning would not make things easy.

She didn’t want to read—the thought made her woozy.
She didn’t want to ride the bus, and sit next to Suzy.
So, “To see Doctor Dilly,” said Mother to Lilly.
“You must be feeling rotten.”

Doctor Dilly saw Lilly, her face glowing red.
He looked and he listened, then said, “Back to bed!”
“It could be a virus, an infection, or worse.
It could be the potion of an old witches curse.”

Then, Lilly coughed and she sputtered. She quivered and gargled.
Doctor Dilly said, “Wait!  I think you’ve been SNARGLED!”
“SNARGLED?” asked Lilly. “Why what do you mean?”
“But, I eat my vegetables, and I keep myself clean!”

“Yes, I heard a SNARGLE,” Doctor Dilly nodded his head.
“Now you must go home, and get back to bed!”
So they drove quickly home to lay in the bed that was closest.
It could not be a good thing to have a SNARGLE diagnosis.

“But, what is a SNARGLE?” Lilly wondered in bed.
“Could I not have a cold, or a fever instead?”
She was stuck with a SNARGLE—must be a nasty disease.
“Is it like having measles, pox or the fleas?”

And so Lilly slept to rid of the bug.
Her Mom washed the pillows, the sheets, and her rug.
And, hour after hour while Lilly lie sleeping,
Somewhere from nowhere her dreams began creeping.

Does a SNARGLE have feet to rampage a stomping?
Or is it round like ball, to roll on a romping?
Or, does it have fangs or claws that could scratch her?
But, what if it’s slimy? That’d be a disaster!

And, what if the SNARGLE rattles and hisses?
Or, passes on germs through wet, sloppy kisses?
Lilly didn’t want to be SNARGLED. She can’t, and she wouldn’t.
A girl like Lilly can’t be sick and she shouldn’t!

“So away with your big beady eyes and your fur.
Away with your stink, I want to be cured!”
Then all through the night, Lilly battled the beast.
And slowly but surely her fever decreased.

And when morning appeared, Lilly was first to awaken.
Her fever was gone, and the SNARGLE was shaken.
“I want to go to school,” Lilly said to her mother.
“I want to go now, and not miss another!”

Then Lilly hopped on the school bus and headed to town.
She even smiled at Suzy, there was no more frown.
And, just like that the SNARGLE was forgotten.
Lilly said to herself, “Wow, I must’ve been feeling rotten.”

It was a blue helium balloon. And, I remember tying a little treasure map to the attached string, walking across the gravel road with my brother, and letting go.

I don’t know what the map revealed–but I’m sure it was valuable to us at the time, and I’m sure there’s still a shoe box buried somewhere out in that woods still today.

Up. Up.  Soon, the balloon disappeared into the sky—and with it, a treasure to be discovered.

Most of us have done this as kids—let the balloon go.  And, as adults, we’re often bombarded with motivational rhetoric based on letting go of the past and living for the future.  Managers sometimes need to let employees go–and I’ve yet to interview a manager who ever said they let a person go to early.

But, what does letting go really mean?

If you manage people does letting go mean giving up? Or does it mean giving power?

Ironically both of these questions stand true whether a person is losing their job or keeping their job.

Letting go can mean stepping back to let someone else achieve their dreams.  Letting go can mean understanding people enough to guide them in them in the right direction even though it may not be to your own benefit.  And, personally, letting go of your own past doesn’t mean that you’re burdened with issues that need to find resolve.

What if we could all let go? What if we could let the people around us dream freely?  What if we could all wipe our resumes clear and realize that just because we’ve never done something before, doesn’t mean we can’t do it tomorrow?

Let go. See what happens.  A balloon carrying a treasure map could be your child, your employee, your best friend, or your current job.

There are two ways I can stop you from reading any further—-and turn off your curiosity to see the opportunity that exists for your life.

I can instantly take this conversation to a screeching halt—using simple words.

BE WARNED, THIS GETS UGLY.

There is one word that will end any conversation. Try it at work with the person who doesn’t understand that you don’t want to chit-chat Monday morning until you’ve had a cup of coffee.

“What’d you do this weekend?” they ask.  “Did you go to the lake?  Did you have any fun with the kids? Do you have a garden?  I have a garden.  I washed my car.  My cat did something really funny.  Do you want to hear about my funny cat?”

Uggh!  Simply respond by saying, “Diarrhea.”
Plop—end of discussion.  The word is so vile it stops everything.  For  some reason, and upset stomach can kill a conversation faster than any disease–heart attack, stroke, lupus, leoporacy, and even death.

That vile word crushes a conversation, but another vile word is even more disastrous and vile.  It crushes the human spirit—it’s the word “No.”

We all know those people in life who think their role is to say “No.”  Maybe it’s a boss, a colleague or a friend. Maybe it’s your mother, or sibling.  No matter who it is, these people feel empowered by denying you permission to have a voice.  They are, as the story books would define them, “The Trolls under the bridge.”

“I have an idea,” you say.  “No.” they respond, without giving you an opportunity to share.

“I’d like to speak to the owner,” you say.  “No.”

“Would you like to dance?”  “No.”

“Can I cross the bridge—to my next promotion, to the next level, to a better self?”  “No.”

“No” is a controlling word based on granting permission.  When  someone says “No you can’t,” or “No you shouldn’t,” or “No  it’s  not possible,”  consider  one  question,  “Do you  need that person’s permission?”

That’s why I’m here plucking feverishly at keys night after night.  I have come to a realization in life that most dreams, goals, and aspirations are squashed only by words—not illnesses, tragedies, lack of effort, unforseen shortcomings, or even failures.  Human potential is most often halted by something as silly and meaningless as a single word.

Yes, there are some vile words in our language.  But, the only words that truly matter are your own—your voice, and your beliefs.

Go figure, at least most days, we all have the stomach to change the world.