“It’s all gravy”

This blog begins with a simple phone call that changed my life.  It was on that call, speaking to a man I had never met, where I heard the words, “It’s all gravy.”

Frank Maguire was a former VP of FedEx Worldwide, a former VP of KFC, a former head of programming for ABC radio networks, and a former communications consultant for the Kennedy and Johnson Administrations.  He was undoubtedly humble. He referred to his own long list of life achievements, executive positions, and enviable relationships as just “great opportunities.”

He told endearing stories of personal conversations he’d shared with people like Colonel Sanders—scolding new investors and screaming, “Don’t mess with the gravy.” He’d talk about the time JFK offered to have a Coke with him in the White House when everyone had taken the holiday off. He also told stories about the day he hired Ted Kopel at ABC. And, he concluded each story by mentioning how blessed he was to meet such phenomenal personalities.

“The equity I have gained in relationship value is priceless,” said Maguire.“I’m talking about the opportunity to witness men and women who understood their purpose. Great people aren’t great because of who they are—they’re great because of what they do. They understand their purpose, and they act on it.”

Frank Maguire knew the game-changers in this world. He talked frequently to great leaders, visionaries, motivators, and influencers. And, although he would deny it then, he was a game-changer as well. He influenced business leaders all over the globe.

As the years passed, our relationship grew. One phone call turned into several. A brief conversation turned into an hour. Soon, we were calling each other just to swap ideas.

Of course, I knew the knowledge I could glean from Frank. But, the question was: why was he talking to me?

“Frank, you know some of the biggest players in the world. Why are you so helping me?”

“I’m not doing anything for you,” he responded. “Todd, it took me a long time to realize some very significant points about life. And, I had some of the best teachers a person could ask for. Still, there comes a point where every person needs to dig deep to uncover their own truth—to find their own purpose. I see you as a person haunted by persistence—I bet you don’t sleep much because you’re trying to conquer the entire world at once.”

“I don’t sleep much, but that’s how a person succeeds, right?”

He paused. “Do you ever think about purpose? Do you ever wonder what it is you’ll do in this world that will make you truly relevant? I’m not talking about success as defined by society—I’m talking about that day, far into the future, when you’re reflecting on your life as you pass from this earth. I’m talking about that day you realize that we’re all human and all have been given the same tools to create the life we want to create. Do you ever think about that day, and wonder what that one thing you achieved in this world will be where you can raise your chest with pride for the last time and say, ‘I served my purpose.’ Todd, what’s your purpose and how are you going to connect with it. When are you going to stop running yourself in circles trying to dig up success and meaning? There will come a day, when your purpose reveals itself, and from there, everything else is gravy.”

I was blessed to know you Frank Maguire.

My wife and 8-year-old daughter like to get pedicures together.  My 5-year-old daughter has always refused.  So, the other day we were shocked when she said she wanted to join the Nordstrom women on a trip to the nail salon.

I, of course, stayed home with my 3-year-old son…trying to pretend I was handy…and attempting to fix a few things around the house.An hour went by.  I didn’t think I could pretend much longer.  

Then another 15 minutes passed.  At this point I was trying to look busy.  And, then, another 30 minutes passed.  By now I had started folding laundry.  You know…manly work.

That’s when my wife walked through the door—with a grin I rarely see.

“The girls went to the back of the salon,” she said attempting to withhold giggles.  ”I told the ladies at the front desk to just paint their toes.”

“And?” I asked.

“Put it this way,” she said, busting into laughter. “Her bill was $120 bucks.”

This is where my wife busted into uncontrollable hysterics—laughter that I’m saturated the entire neighborhood.

My girls walked through the door behind her.  My 5-year-old had a smirk on her face as well—poised with a posture that showed a sense of pride.

She lifted her hands.  She pointed at her toes. Every finger and toe on her body was sparkling blue.  And, every finger and toe had a tiny flower painted on it.

My wife at this point can hardly stand because she is laughing so hard.  Tears were forming in her eyes, and became difficult to understand anything she was saying.  ”It seems there was a commuication gap,” she roared.  ”Tell Daddy why you have flowers on ALL YOUR NAILS!”

“I couldn’t understand their spanish,” my daughter replied.  ”So I just nodded my head.”

Here’s rub.  All the ladies at the nail salon are Vietnamese.

What’s the point of this story?

Hey, so often in life—even as adults—we don’t fully understand what we’re getting ourselves into.  But, instead of going for “the works” we’ll often shy away from an experience.  Instead of nodding “yes,” we’ll shake our heads with “no.”

Go for “the works” next time.  In this case, the fancy nail polish and flowers only lasted a day.  But, I promise I’ll be telling this story for the 40 years.

Now, I just need to figure out how to make $120 bucks.

It was a seemingly average day at the bus stop. I was there with the dog.  My girls hopped off the bus.  And, we engaged in typical conversation—or at least I thought.

“Anything exciting happen at school today?” I asked. “Did you learn anything interesting?”

My oldest daughter (8) instantly flew into a rampage about a book she was reading. Mid-sentence she began telling me about how a classmate got in trouble, and then imediately transitioned into how excited she was for softball practice, an upcoming playdate, and a billion other things, of which, I admittedly lost track of.

But, my youngest daughter (5) remained silent.  Her eyes focused on the road as she walked, which was typical of her.  

“How about you sweetie?” I asked.  ”Did anyting cool happen in your class today?”

She paused.  And, I assumed she would we give me her standard answer of, “Nothing special.” To which I would typically reply with something snarky like “You spent all day in school and didn’t learn anything interesting?”  But, that didn’t happen.

“Well, something kinda interesting happened,” she replied. “I thought I was getting in trouble.”

“What for?”

“The teacher asked me why I was going to the bathroom so much,” she replied.  ”But, I wasn’t going to the bathroom.”

“What were you doing?” I asked.

“I didn’t want to toot on the class rug,” she said. “So I would just go outside the room to toot.  And, after I told the teacher, she let me go as much as I wanted.”

This is why I’m proud. My daughter has already learned a golden rule that will benefit her throughout life—passing gas in the middle of the room benefits no one.

This time it hurt.

Do you know that feeling where you’re waiting for something huge?  You wait. You wait. You work harder. You wait longer.  And then, it doesn’t happen…I just experienced one of those instances today.  And, I was instantly deflated.  I was hurt.  The needle pierced deeply into my motivation.  Success…well…the notion vanished. I was, again, starting at ground zero.

I know everyone will say “Get back on the horse.” They’ll say, “Nothing comes easy.” And, to that, I’ll respond, “Go work for a greeting card company.”  I don’t want to hear it.

Why? Because there is a pleasure in losing.  It’s a driver like nothing else.  Because, quite simply, when the needle hurts enough, we move.  And, quite frankly, every story of success begins with a story of failure.

This is the comeback.  It’s the New Itch.  And, I’m pissed off enough to scratch it.

I’ve always been intrigued by the daring, fearless, and uncompromising spirits who step in front of the line even though they weren’t invited. I’m intrigued by people who are so passionate about their own purpose that they refuse to hear the word “no.” I’m fascinated by people who glow with uncompromising principle. And, I’m bound and detrmined to be one of those people.

Here’s the thing: everything in life moving forward is a comeback.Whether you had it all–think William Shatner who found another platform–or you’ve never found your glimpse–guys like Stanley Pera who you don’t know but soon will–but found your voice in the end, everything is a comeback.

In the end, we are defined only by what we do about our thoughts, ideals, perceptions, and setbacks.

It’s time for the comeback of your life.  If you want it all, find your true setback.  Realize that you are always at the bottom. And, there’s no other option than movement. 

Go.

My Annual Holiday Wishes Email—Go Big with Chaos

Twas the night before a kindergarten field trip, when all through the house…

…not a creature was stirring…

Oh, who am I kidding?  My wife was out of town and the place was frantic—all the creatures in the house were stir crazy. My 8 year old is blasting Taylor Swift tunes.  My 3 year-old thinks he’s a reincarnation of Tyrannosaurus Rex. And, my 5 year-old is pleading for “a special lunch” to take on her field trip.  Add to that, two crotchety old wiener dogs who bark incessantly, a 100 lb golden retriever puppy who’s bursting through the house after playing in the rain, a cat who teases all the dogs, and my brother is belly-laughing because he thinks the whole scenario is hilarious.

Frantic.

“What do you want in your special lunch for your field trip?” I asked my 5 year-old, fearing that she would request something out of my culinary skill set. (Let’s be real.  I’m great at making hard-boiled eggs.  That’s about it.)

“A jelly sandwich,” she replied.

“Nice,” I thought.  “Looks like dear old Dad can handle this ‘special lunch’ in a snap.”

Out comes the jelly.  Out comes a brown paper bag. Out comes a butter knife.  I’ve got this one mastered.  And then, I realized we have no bread.

“Sweetie,” I said carefully. “We’re out of bread.”

She paused.  Her facial expressions broke my heart.  And, I realized that I was in big trouble—because now she would surely ask for something complicated.

“Daddy, I know what we could do!” she screamed, beaming with excitement.  “Instead of using bread to make my jelly sandwich, we could use toast!”

Umm, I’m toast.

But, how many of us have felt a little overwhelmed this year—in situations where there are no simple answers?  The economy is shlumped.  The job market is frumped.  And, we’re all getting asked to make toast, when there is no bread.

Here comes 2010. What happens next?

The irony of this holiday message (compared to all my letters in years past) is that resolutions mean new things to all of us this year.  And, if history can teach us anything, we should understand that true progress, success, and relevance is achieved in tough times—when our backs are against the wall, and we’re forced into creative survival.

“But, I wanted a jelly sandwich,” she said.  “We don’t have toast?  We don’t have bread?”

I looked around the room.  My oldest daughter was punching through her ipod playlist like it was typewriter—a new blaring song every 10 seconds.  My son had the cat cornered—he was roaring at it, just like a dinosaur.  My dachshunds were barking at the wind.  My golden retriever was apparently seeing how much water he could ‘shake’ onto all the furniture. And, my brother was now curled on the floor in laughter.

My patience was crumbling.

“Do you want a hard-boiled egg in your lunch sweetie?” I asked, knowing that to a kid, it was like I was trading a trip to Disney Land with a trip to the drycleaner.

Her lower lip extended. Her forehead trembled. And, out of the corner of her eye, a teardrop began to form.

“You said I could have a special lunch.”

Panic ensued.  I froze. The room became silent. And, then, there it was. The moment I had been waiting for all year.  There on the corner of the kitchen counter I saw my defining moment—it shimmered and sang to me (really).  I wouldn’t be stumped—not me.  And, I wouldn’t make my sweet little girl go to her field trip with a hard-boiled egg.

“Oh, you want something special,” I said.  “Well, then you don’t want just any jelly sandwich.  You want a Jam-Dog.”

Her eyes lit up—her face filled with wonder.  “What’s a Jam-Dog?”

One hotdog bun filled with strawberry jam coming right up—along with a smile from a 5-year-old that made the invention one of my proudest moments of the year.

BE WARNED: This is where I fly off the hook into a visionary quest for the future.

This year, let’s make more Jam-Dogs—it’s not about inventing something new, it’s about perceiving something new.

This year, let’s all learn to value our challenges for the opportunities they can inspire—because without hurdles, we’d never even think about jumping.

This year, let’s improve, re-engineer, rename, and revitalize those things we already are—because we’re all a “special lunch” waiting to become spectacular (Yes, I’ve had requests for Jam-Dogs since that night).

This year, let’s all find creative brilliance—not to just to challenge our situations, but to make someone else smile in the process.

And, this year, let’s all take a step backward, or forward, to immerse ourselves in chaos—the noise (whatever it may be for you) that leads us to pursue a purpose.

I say it every year. And, every year I mean it.  This year, even if the muck is taking its toll on reality, don’t let it take it’s toll on your dreams.  In 2010, Go Big!  Grab yourself a Jam-Dog!

Happy Holidays, again.

Todd 

Yikes, are we through the muck yet?  Apparently not.

Within the last few months, I’ve been talking to a lot of people–some of them personally, some of them in my speaking engagements, and a ton on webinars that we host through Life 2.0.  And, let’s face it, I can ramble with the best of ‘em.

What’s the topic?I’ve been steeped in a ton of research–of course a lot with my co-author Dr. Dwight Lundell, and a lot with my business partner, Matt Look, CEO of Life 2.0–all touting the benefits of wellness.

I know, “Ho-Hum”, most people hate to hear or talk about health.  But, here’s why I can’t ramble enough–health is the number one factor of your life-long success. 

Whoa!  Yep, research reveals that the average health risk reduces your performance capability by approximately 3 to 5%.  Not a big deal?  You’re too smart to let health stand in your way, right?

Apparently, not many of us truly get this concept.  We should.  Think about the last time you were sick–how much did you accomplish?  Not much.  And, right now the average person in America has 9 to 12 health risks.  That means the average person is performing at about 50% capacity.

Cool research?  Only if we respond.  And, we must.

It’s time to change the world–because you can. 

www.salusliving.com
www.thecureforheartdisease.net
www.healthyhumansfoundation.org  

The kids were really excited for watermellon.  But, who isn’t?

Slice.  Seeds? 

“What are these black things?”

The seedless watermellon has been around for quite some time.  It was a novel idea when it was first introduced.  It was one of those “luxury” items that left us with a feeling of, “well, we won’t eat seedless watermellon all the time, just on special occasions.”

The internet was kind of the same feeling.  It wasn’t that long when a lot of companies still were existing without a web presence.  Today, the thought almost seems silly.  And, those organizations who were late-adapters suffered…because Google was already going to the races with all their competition.Why not learn from watermellon?  The internet?  Once technology stakes its plot of land, it’s very difficult to go back to the old ways…seeds, phone books, memos.Be an early adapter.  

Twitter?

You ever need a funny?   Check out Scott Christopher’s blog…how much fun can this guy have? And, how do we jump into that sanbox?  Click it!  You need it today!  Click IT!http://levityeffect.com/blog/ 

I’m addicted to changethis.com–manifestos from some of the, well, change-initiators.If you never click through, now is the time to change…YOU MUST READ this from my friends Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton.http://www.changethis.com/57.05.RecognitionMicroscope 

Okay, so I’m building BizRibbon.com…and wondering….who’s your favorite Biz Author and what’s your favorite Biz Book?  And, why? 

Send me your answers to: Editor@bizribbon.com.

And, if you haven’t subscribed, do so now. It’s free!www.bizribbon.com